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Month: December 2016

Hypnosis & Relationships

RELATIONSHIP THERAPY  Learn to Communicate One of the major problems in relationships is communication. Simply talking things out is an essential factor, but it is much more easily said than done. Why? The answer is that many people do not communicate effectively. It is not that they don’t want to — they may desperately want […]

RELATIONSHIP THERAPY 
Learn to Communicate

One of the major problems in relationships is communication. Simply talking things out is an essential factor, but it is much more easily said than done. Why? The answer is that many people do not communicate effectively. It is not that they don’t want to — they may desperately want to work out problems, explain viewpoints, discuss differences. The problem may be that they cannot communicate because even with sensitive ears they cannot hear!

Most people fall into one of two possible categories of suggestibility – physical suggestibility or emotional suggestibility. Actually, every person has characteristics of both, but one or the other is usually stronger, or dominant. These characteristics have a great deal to do with how people hear.
While it may not be the best illustration, some hypnotherapy practitioners consider physical suggestibility to be somewhat parallel to an extrovert type of personality, while emotional suggestibility relates more to the introvert type. The point is that people tend to listen in accordance with their personality make-ups. People hear in the same manner in which they speak. Those with opposing types of suggestibilities have more difficulties with communication.
One couple recently came into a hypnotherapy office to discuss serious relationship problems. The husband proved to be a real loudmouth, shouting at his wife as well as the therapist. When his shy and gently wife asked him if we could discuss this matter quietly, he simply continued to shout. He didn’t hear her request. And she certainly was not hearing (in the sense of comprehending) his message. The therapist asked the husband to speak more softly. The shouting continued. Finally the therapist shouted in an equally loud voice: “Now just shut up for a while or get out!”
There was the possibility, of course, that the client would become angry, get up and walk out – a calculated risk. However the husband looked around sharply and asked, “Was I speaking too loudly?”. He had no idea how he sounded. His nature was to speak loudly, and when his wife trying to avoid what she felt would be a confrontation) failed to reply, he assumed she was not hearing him and shouted even more loudly.

Suggestibility Can Be Altered
After explaining the communications problems – the wife could not respond to loudness and the husband was indifferent to softer language – the two were hypnotized sitting side by side. They were regressed to the early days of their marriage, allowed to feel again the sensations, caring feelings an love that existed in the beginning. They were programmed to understand and even modify their modes of listening and communication. Finally, under hypnosis, the husband was instructed to reach over, take his wife’s hand, while both of them re-lived the experience of early love.
The hypnotherapist estimated that five or six sessions would be necessary to resolve the feelings, modify the suggestibility and establish solid communication. The clients cancelled their second appointment, advising that they had re-discovered each other, and considered the problem resolved.
It is important to remember that each person receives messages in much the same mode that is used to send them. Considering the attraction of opposites, it is not to be unexpected that physically suggestible people often marry emotionally suggestible partners. As the initial newness and tenderness fades with passing time, the tendency grows to revert to the mode which is characteristic for th e suggestibility type. Communication problems become virtually inevitable. Problems understandably can increase further with the realization that people, in addition to physical or emotional suggestibility, are affected by the existence of physical and emotional sexuality.

Sexuality vs. Suggestibility

Suggestibility reflects learning characteristics. Sexuality reflects performing characteristics (sexual or otherwise). Where partners have apparent sexual incompatibility, an evaluation of sexuality type is warranted. Where the types of sexuality differ dramatically, response tendencies tend to create problems.
In the effort to avoid hurt, confusion or conflict, an individual may consciously alter either sexual or suggestible behavior and develop incongruent behavior (where suggestibility is in the unnatural position of being opposite to the person’s sexuality). This can create confusion and communication breakdown resulting in severe relationship conflicts plus inner turmoil within the individual exhibiting the incongruent behavior.

Hypnotherapy can measure both sexuality and suggestibility, 
and where differences are relatively minimal, partners usually will have enough flexibility to maintain balance and communication through periods of stress or upheaval. Where one partner, for example, is 80% physical and the other is 80% emotional, difficulties are reasonable predictable.
Therapy may consist of measuring suggestibility and sexuality, seeing partners individually at first. Otherwise the participants may disagree on the evaluations, since they will see responses differently. Subsequently the partners may be seen together, at which time suggestibility and sexuality may be explained , so that partners understand why they see or hear things differently, discussing the literal style of the physical suggestible and the inferential style of the emotionally suggestible.

Hypnotherapy can bring understanding of relationship communications, awareness of the possibilities of modifications of attitudes and suggestibilites and sexualities, and the importance of and need for creating feelings of confidence and security in and regarding the relationship itself.

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Stress Kills & Hypnosis Heals

STRESS MANAGEMENT The human brain receives messages from several sources, each dealing with separate types of information. Input dealing with everyday matters such as news, music, work, relationships, social media, weather, etc., comes from the external environment. Our own bodies provide data concerning movement, digestion, tension, pain, etc., all in the form of message units […]

STRESS MANAGEMENT

The human brain receives messages from several sources, each dealing with separate types of information. Input dealing with everyday matters such as news, music, work, relationships, social media, weather, etc., comes from the external environment. Our own bodies provide data concerning movement, digestion, tension, pain, etc., all in the form of message units sent to the brain.

The conscious mind deals with reasoning and logic, decisions, goals, planning and conscious activity. The unconscious mind, which includes both the subconscious and superconscious, wields the greatest influence. It receives all the message units from our social, spiritual and genetic backgrounds and all the conflicts and disturbances which enter our consciousness each day. The unconscious mind receives and holds its information, neither accepting nor rejecting the messages. It just takes it all in. It does not evaluate. That procedure is reserved for the conscious mind.

From primitive times the human animal has possessed an escape mechanism that even today, under severely threatening conditions, can cause regression to primitive behavior. The fight/flight syndrome, always a means of dealing with fears, threats, attacks and other disturbances, has gained tolerance through evolution with the addition of Reaction vs. Action and Repression vs. Depression. Without these, when the message input volume reached overload conditions, the escape would be toward the denial of reality. However, the desire for social acceptance provides motivation to cope with and adapt to reality.

Nevertheless, when the conscious mind can no longer handle the message units overloading the brain, the subconscious prepares us for fight or flight — the heart pumps harder, blood pressure rise, super strength can be generated. But sometimes there is nothing to fight. We can’t fight the environment. We can’t fight a new job, an accident, a bad decision. What now?

Enter Stress/Anxiety
Unable to fight , the reaction turns to the alternative of flight, which in present day life can prove impossible. Often a state of apathy, depression and/or hypersuggestibility ensues. Negative input finds acceptance. Futility and melancholy develop and an overreaction to the senses develops together with a loss of tolerance. The road turns downhill.

Imagine a group of musicians playing together. Imagine the trumpet player getting a measure or two ahead of the rest. Imagine the saxophone player, trying to figure out what the trumpeter is doing, dropping a measure behind. Imagine the drummer, becoming confused, missing his beats so that the whole group gets off beat. Imagine the conductor waving his amrs desperately trying to orient the players. Imaging the cacophony as the musicians collapse, give up and quit playing.

A person experiencing continuing stress may well become subject to such a frenzy, in the process developing any or several forms of stress-related illness. While certain types of stress are even desirable (romantic stress, job promotion, winning a lottery), stresses that produce debilitation, depression, excessive smoking, overeating, anger, grief, and similar reactions need attention and usually professional help.

The first recognition of a hypnotherapist dealing with stress is likely to be that while the world, or the past if it is a factor in the condition, cannot be changed, it is possible to alter the client’s perception of and reaction to them.
Again, casual factors need to be investigated. And not infrequently regression can be helpful in this process. Stress may be a reaction to people, places, events, or things. The threats may be real or imagined. Remember, the subconscious mind does not analyze, and usually by the time depression appears the conscious mind has lost its ability to do so. However, there are several common basic causes of stress which can be recognized, defined and other eliminated.

So What’s Behind It All
Why me? Stress victims ask the question quite often. Many factors enter into the picture of possibilities. Overachievers, typical Type A personalities, are hyper-competitive. They can be addicted to stress. They can’t enjoy it, until it gets out of control. Victims can learn stress early in life from parents, teachers, relatives and others. Through early experience they simply consider stress a normal part of life; they see it all the time.

Fears, valid or otherwise, can lead to the development of symptoms of stress. They can expand into full grown phobias and psychiatric disorders. Unrelenting pain or worries over health situations are factors, as are repressed emotions such as hurt, anger, grief, etc. Specific incidents are frequently involved, such as the necessity to speak to a group in th e course of job performance when such activity is uncomfortable.

Every individual is different in tolerance levels, coping abilities, reactions and therapeutic needs. Dealing with stress is best accomplished through a trained, experienced and sensitive professional hypnotherapist who can determine causes and evaluate reactions. Sheer willpower is not the remedy in stress cases. Effective and permanent relief responds to desensitization, which can be brought about through hypnotherapy.

It is important to analyze the stress stimuli and the physical and/or emotional responses which they bring about. Through hypnosis positive new responses can be created to replace the devastating reactions of the past. Buried feelings can be brought to the surface and released. Outside pressures can be relieved. And finally, new responses to old disturbances can be induced with major changes in attitudes and reactions.

When you take the time to understand and address stress management you are taking YOU time and that is what it is all about!

To learn more how to help others manage and reduce or eliminate stress consider the importance of proper training in hypnosis and advanced hypnotherapy techniques.

Get more stress relief today at the Temecula Hypnosis Center and visit http://www.SleepNow.com for all your hypnotic needs.

Don

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